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msss
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 02-20-2011 Location:
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posted on 02-20-2011 at 15:22 |
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Locked out of house
A few months ago my husband snapped. He has a history of paranoia and was on medication when he was a teen. Anyhow, He started getting completely paranoid, started breaking into into my personal email accounts, going through my old boxes and reading my old journals. He was convinced i was cheating (I wasn't) and wasn't convinced when he found nothing. He even started keeping logs on phone calls.
Long story short, I am a stay at home mom to a 7 year old little girl (I quit my job to raise her, a joint decision to avoid daycare). 2 weeks ago I found out he had his direct deposit check changed to a secret account he established, had stayed home from work a few days before to spy on me from the basement, he even let the air out of the tires of the car I was *in* trying to drive away from him (this was a few months ago). I decided we needed a "breather" and went to stay with my parents who live 10 minutes away.
A went back to the house to get some of my belongings only to find out he changed the locks.
I foster cats and all of my cats are in that house (there are 6 total...4 are mine and 2 are fosters). He has put them all in the basement and has threatened to let them all out the front door or bring them to the pound if I dont get them. There is no place to put them in this house...I could maybe take 1 or 2 and keep them in this room I'm in but they have an Australian Sheppherd mix here that would make minced meat of them quickly if they got out.
Didn't I say something about "long story short" a while back? Sorry....
Anyhow...I'm at a loss. I have been locked out of my house. I have no money. I am sick to death with worry about the animals. And he has been nothing but nasty to me in any dealings we have with eachother over our daughter (we've been "sharing" her...she stays at his house the 2 days he is off and here the rest of the time.)
The other thing he is doing is when she is with him she stays up late, doesn't take her medication (she has chronic asthma) doesn't take a bath, doesn't do her homework, etc....and when she is here I make her do all that so she likes being with him much better. When I picked her up yesterday she was pouting "when am I going back to daddy?"
I am just devastated. I spoke to 2 attorneys. One wanted $5000 and the other gave me a 20 minute free consult with pretty much was pointless. He billed at $25 for every 6 minutes over the 20 minutes. I am penniless and dont know how to go about taking a step in the right direction. Does anyone have any insight or advice they can offer me. I'm at a total loss.
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divorcedyoung
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 04-28-2011 Location:
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posted on 04-28-2011 at 13:42 |
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I Feel For You
I saw that no one has responded to you so I thought I could at least give you my two cents.
First, I can relate to your experience. My husband was very controlling and paranoid. Nothing was private for me. As soon I left him, I found out that he was reading all of my emails, checking my phone records and possibly even following me. I couldn't get away from him! It didn't matter what I did, it seemed like he found out about it and would harass me non-stop about everything. He threatened me all the time and was convinced that if I just gave him one more chance that I would see that he changed and was a different person. Yea, right!
You feel trapped and like there is nothing that you can do. It's not true, there are things you can do, even if you don't have any money. I didn't have a lot of money either and I didn't know what to do. I talked to lawyers and they all told me the same thing, call the police or give them a retainer of $5000 that I didn't have for them to help me fight. I got a retraining order, had him arrested and charged for his harassment and haven't heard from him since.
Are you filing for divorce? I don't recall seeing whether or not you are in the process of getting your divorce or you are already divorced.
One thing I can recommend is to keep ALL correspondence with him. Keep an incident report of all the dates and times that things happen. If you can get him to write things in text messages or emails, that is even better. Save voicemails that he leaves on your phone. This will all be evidence for your case. If you can prove that he is reading your emails and invading your privacy, then you can use that against him. Depending on the severity of his threats and what you can prove, you can have him arrested and charged. It might be the push he needs to stop what he is doing.
Look online, call some lawyers and see if anyone will take your case pro bono. Check with your local courthouse too. They will be able to offer you fee waivers for filing fees and they may have information regarding reduced legal fees for local lawyers. A lot of the family court houses have help centers too. You're going to have to do some homework, but you can solve your problems without going bankrupt.
As for saving your animals, call the humane society. It seems like that is going to be the only way to get them out of there. I know it will hurt to lose them, but its better than having them trapped and possibly starved or abused. It's the lesser of two evils. I had to leave my dog behind because I didn't have anywhere to take him and it broke my heart, but you have to do what you have to do.
He doesn't have a right to put you through the things he is putting you through. Divorce is hard for both parties, but it doesn't give him the right to act the way that he is. Fortunately time will eventually heal his heart and he'll stop doing these things to you, but until then, you need to protect yourself and your kids.
Hang in there!
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