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hbenjamin
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 03-13-2011 Location: true
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posted on 03-13-2011 at 12:11 |
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Husband controls money. I have nowhere else to go...
St. Patricks day marks my Anniversary
of 4 years being in an unproductive,
destructive marriage just hoping
things might get better. My husband
has had a gambling problem since I've known him. But as of late my husband has begun abandoning myself and my Son, turning his phone off for 3-4 days without any warning he is not coming back and no attempts of communication from him. The first time he did this was a few weeks ago. I was five months pregnant and at home caring for our 2 year old. My husband left one morning for work, took my car with our Son's carseat, left us with no money and with no warning. He just turned his phone off until he came back 3 days later. Two days after he returned I suffered a miscarriage at 5 months and was hospitalized for 5 days immediately following with pneumonia. The night he brought me home from the hospital, he abandoned us again with no warning, no communication, nothing. The last week he has become emotionally
negligent and borderline emotionally
abusive. After everything I suffered, he
is somehow blaming me for the financial stress that has consumed him as a result of his gambling losses. I witness him yelling at our son often for doing nothing at all. I have never seen this side of my husband.
I am writing for advice, knowledge on what divorce may bring in my situation. As a full-time stay at home mother, my husband receives his paychecks in his own bank account, then spends or gambles everything. I don't have money for divorce and I really don't have anywhere else to go. I don't have close friends or family to move in with and I have no money to rent a place of my own nor support my Son financially.
What happens in a situation such as mine? I really don't see how I could possibly leave and proceed with divorce on my own. And if I did, how am I supposed to support myself while taking care of my Son full time?
Any advice, encouragement, ideas mean so much to me. Thank You
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divorceddd
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 04-20-2011 Location: United States
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posted on 04-20-2011 at 06:28 |
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Hope on the way
Your husband is a classic: Controller, addictive behavior, abusive.
Any attorney will give you free legal advice over the phone, you could tell the secretary your husband took your car, keys, etc and this is a way to reach out.
There is hope, I have a friend, that moved into a shelter, she had me pick her up and take her there. The hubby was not allowed to know where. Her husband beat her and the kids. She left. She realized she cannot take care of the kids if she did not take care of Her self.
She got all the proper help Free. They gave her enough help that it was a better life for her. I hope this helps.
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divorcedyoung
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 04-28-2011 Location:
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posted on 04-28-2011 at 13:53 |
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Get Out Now!
Your post is alarming. I just joined this forum and I wish I had joined sooner to post this.
First, you can file for your divorce for free through fee waivers. Ask for them at your local courthouse. You can pick up your divorce packet, fill out the fee waiver and get the process started. Your divorce doesn't have to cost you a dime as long as you do your homework. Ask for child support and spousal support.
Just so you know where I am coming from, my ex-husband was also a gambler and blamed me for all of our financial problems even though I worked and brought home my very own paycheck (sometimes working 2 jobs). Some how it always my problem that he was losing our money at the casino. He'd yell at me for hours after he would lose. It's awful, unfair and it won't change.
You need to get out. It's not going to be easy. There are state funded programs that can help you support you and your children, but you'll need to find them. If you don't have anyone you can live with, you can stay in a shelter until your funding comes through. Depending on your state, you may also qualify for rent reduction so that you can get a place for you and your kids to stay.
Don't make any excuses for yourself or your husband. Things haven't changed for years and they are probably not going to get better. You need to make your decision and go with it. If not for yourself, for your children.
--DivorcedYoung
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