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dolfanar
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 04-18-2011 Location:
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posted on 04-18-2011 at 16:38 |
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What do I do now?
Hi all,
My wife recently moved back to China... and my marriage is over, though technically we are not divorced... yet. The break-up was amaiable... we just grew apart... though it was definitely HER idea to end things... I was willing to do counceling or anything else to make things work. The second she got on the plane though, and with a little distance I started to see all the cracks in our relationship and honestly I am ok with the break-up.
Sounds not too bad... except that I am going completely MAD OUT OF MY MIND. As much as I am ok with the breakup... I also don't think I can be single again. I was a HORRIBLE single guy... I am stuck in this house, which we got together and ultimately added so much pressure to our relationship that it drove us apart.
I don't feel like I can date... I'm not actually separated... what do I tell a woman I like? It's been 2 weeks and I already feel like I felt before I met my ex... alone and desperate for any intimacy I can find.
There is a girl at work that I'm very, VERY fond of... but we work on the same team, and I know it would be a mistake to make a move... and my ex has only been gone 2 weeks!
What the hell is wrong with me?
Seriously guys... my mind is goign to weird places, and none of my friends or family seem to get where I'm coming from... what the should I do?
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chargerx
Junior Member
Posts: 11
Registered: 03-14-2011 Location:
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posted on 05-02-2011 at 19:44 |
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Response
I've been where you are. I thought I was over my ex wife until a few months into the divorce and then it hit me like a bat to the stomach. It's gonna take minimum of a few months to even begin adjusting to being single. Sorry that's just the way it is.
Best advice is don't immediately jump into a relationship with a new woman because you're desperate. Why? Because it's built on the fact you are desperate for intimacy and closeness and not real feelings. I did it too. Start off slow go on a couple of lunch dates or whatever; don't jump into bed with her because she's hot.
Focus on yourself; get back into some hobbies you like. Everything you read will tell you to take some time out and be a little selfish. Just take things SLOWLY otherwise you'll make this way harder than it needs to be.
Best of luck man!
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