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DavidCMe
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 05-10-2011 Location:
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posted on 05-10-2011 at 12:19 |
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Family gone.
Hello, I've been looking for somewhere to talk to other men in my boat. My wife is leaving me (while already been gone for a few months now she moved in next door where her mother got a place to live) and I've been grieving for a while now but I am now ready to make peace with this and move on. She is being as fair as possible dealing with my son and is doing joint custody. My issues lie within me having that feeling of lost and feeling of now my family is gone and there is nothing I can do to rescue it. While the cause of the divorce is my fault (not going into details.) I've done everything I can possibly do to reconcile and I've learned a lot in this experience. I learned that I hurt her and the pain will be there for a long time to come. I learned that this separation is probably the best thing. After being with someone for 7 years it's very difficult to imagine my life being any different. I know that I can't live right next door to her because it puts all this tension and want to talk to her and "fix" things. I know I need a new environment and a change in my daily routine. I'm here because I'm looking for other advice or strategies for coping with these basically crappy feelings. Thanks in advance.
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chargerx
Junior Member
Posts: 11
Registered: 03-14-2011 Location:
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posted on 05-11-2011 at 08:30 |
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Response
I know what you're going through. I've been divorced for just about six months. I live in a small town and my ex is not far from me either. Being right next door is kinda tough because yes, part of you wants to reconcile.
I don't have any kids so I can't comment on the immediate family thing but I did have to give up other members of my extended family which included in-laws that I loved. It sucks but they don't really talk to me anymore so it is a very deep loss and I feel for you.
Generally you are going to feel crappy for a while especially if your wife left you (which was my case too). Personally the first 3-4 months after have been the hardest for me. No energy, sleeping too much, drinking too much, hooking up with random girls (I don't recommend this!). But now as I approach six months I am starting to feel a little better. I am starting to see that while I still do have feelings on some level for my ex, I am in a much better place now with new opportunities and freedoms. But it sounds like you have learned whatever you needed to by this experience so you're on the right track.
Best advice is just give it time. You will always have some kind of feelings and memories (good and bad) attached to this woman so just accept that fact and do your best.
Oh and by the way I just found out my ex is getting married to a guy she's known for about.....two months. And they want me to attend the wedding! Still haven't decided how I feel about that one......so you're not alone man. Hope this helps a bit!
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