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Nice_Guy_Jr
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 01-26-2014 Location:
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posted on 01-26-2014 at 20:31 |
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Those looking overseas BEWARE!!!
I am a 20 year Air Force vet and had a Top Secret clearance working on an Air Force Base as a Senior Operations Engineer when much of this happened. I hope to warn as many as I can from someone that has lived and seen the nightmare. As you might understand many of these individuals are only looking for the citizenship and the financial benefits of marrying an American. You don't need to be rich by OUR standards just able to pay her way, filing fees, and temporarily support them. My ex only made $30 a month and lived in a small 2 bedroom apartment with her parents. They would have no way of getting here on their own. One thing you must realize they know our immigration laws better than we do and often stay in contact with organizations that advise them. You will not find all the rules they know in one place. One HUGE law that they know and most of us (I didn't) do not is VAWA Violence Against Women Act "www DOT ovw.usdoj DOT gov" Within this act an immigrant and her children can get immediate citizenship if their sponsor spouse is convicted on a domestic violence charge. My ex from Belarus had an agency she stayed in contact with and when things got delayed she falsely accused me of assaulting her.....I was charged, arrested, required to bond out (many places wish you to take a quick plea deal that would allow you out of jail immediately not taking deal you stay a few days) ....fighting this was painful and VERY costly. In the end (in my case) she did not get citizenship (she had also forged immigration paperwork), but remarried one month after our divorce, got her citizenship that way and divorced him (he was about 15 years older than she was).
Keep in mind when you are arrested on a domestic violence charge you are taken from your home, she has access to your accounts (my ex was trying to empty mine) you are (in Colorado) immediately given an automatic restraining order keeping you from your ex, family, belongings, and/or home. She can then sell anything within the home (mine had yard sales) while you are forced to find another place to live, pay for that new place as well as all the household bills of where she lives PLUS pay her spousal support. Then pay for an attorney VERY PAINFUL!!!!
If you decide to still go through with this, beware the possibility of false accusations, beware red flags seriously like changes in temperament and personality after you marry, not the sweet thing anymore, no intimacies (my ex used sex as reward for buying things for her or her family), staying in contact with some dating agency. Before you marry are they only doing things as a means to an end like sex with you so you don't go after others and marry them? I saw one woman on this show not having sex with her guy (not feeling it) until she caught him talking with other women. HUGE red flag! Are there slips in their conduct/personality showing who they really are and/or quick cover ups of an angry outbursts? Once you get married you're stuck. Protect yourself and your belongings, keep emergency supplies and important things away from their access.
Think your situation is different? She is a very beautiful woman, but can not find guys to take care of or romance her where she is from? The men drink too much there? No, once here these women can find a job, get public assistance, and the man of their choosing all as they throw you under the bus and take from you what they can. Imagine a beautiful foreign woman crying, saying she is lost, has been victimized, asking for assistance.....trust me the tears/act works against you. In Colorado you will pay her Spousal support (alimony) for half the time you were married. In some ways I got out lucky, I proved she forged immigration paperwork in my name, was on dating sites for months, and lied about her accusations. Still cost me THOUSANDS in legal fees and loss of many personal items and years of my life.....do you think I won? Protect what is important to you very closely until you get to year 3. If she doesn't leave you within the year after she gets citizenship you may truly have a winner.
I am not saying ALL of these women are scammers, all I am saying look for the warning signs and protect yourself. Disingenuous people on POF and Match are not trying to get to the states or citizenship and rarely cause you as much harm, anguish, or expense as you expose yourself to when using this overseas method. Is she to good to be true? My ex was the most beautiful, caring, loving, and affectionate woman.....until we got married....As far as her adapting? I got TV from her country, foods from specialty stores, phone calls, internet to communicate with family, and sent medicine, money, and food the her family.
If you believe these women aren't trying to get out of their country/situation and desire American citizenship you are kidding yourself.
I had no children, have great insurance, and I was not a nudist. I also have no vested interest in trying to sell or not sell you this process, unlike others making comments.
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The response below states "Thousands of happy couples exist today because of the 90-Day Fiancé visa. Most men who apply for one will get one and successfully bring their girl here and go on and get married. For every Armageddon story, there are 20 happy endings."
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Yes, I also got married, but that isn't the end of it, you must complete all the proper paperwork, remain married for 2 years, and completing a midway interview. Most successful relationships are by those meeting due to personal travel and/or job then going thru the process.
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"This is still the United States, a woman here on a K-1 visa cannot just arbitrarily accuse you of abuse, have you arrested and removed from your house, sell all your belongings, forge immigration docs and live happily ever after. There’s more to this story, you can see some of it as the author makes reference to certain red flags that he ignored along the way"
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This clearly shows this individual does not know what he is talking about in this area. While getting advice from her dating agency in Belarus she was well advised and knew exactly what it took to get me arrested, and yes look up the "LAW" they can sell your things, they can empty your accounts, they can even sign your name to things here in Colorado because they are your wife. Mine wrote my name on a check, I filed a police report, a young officer got bank info, and her statement, but it was dismissed because she was my wife." This individual needs to have facts not make accusations about things he knows nothing or little about.
Red flags? Yes there were some, but as this guy alludes to I felt, I'm a respected vet, I know our laws, I am an American, and I should be protected and have nothing to worry about. No one warned me as I am warning you. They through their agencies know our laws, the loopholes, and how to take advantage of you much better than we think we do. Feeling protected I did overlook some minor red flags, but once you are married, what do you do if she stops the sex and being so sweet? What do you do then? I wrote my ex for 1.5 years visiting twice. They only really need to fool you until you get married, 90 days together isn't that long to keep up an act. I list more Red Flags than I received because of communication with others that had similar experiences.
If you find this helpful, let me know.
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a_foreign_affair
Junior Member
Posts: 16
Registered: 01-27-2014 Location:
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posted on 01-27-2014 at 15:27 |
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Great Other Side of the Story, Batman!!
Wow! There’s got to be more to that story. Lots more.
I’m not here to judge anyone, and I do not know this person or anything about this writer’s previous situation. Having worked with hundreds of couples in the fiancée visa process, the vast majority of whom have gone on to be very happy for years after marriage, I cringe and shake my head every time I read one of these Armageddon posts.
There are tens of thousands of nice men and women all over the world just trying to meet someone for all the right reasons. There are disingenuous people too, and sometimes they join a personals site. Are there scammers and liars at Match and POF? Yes, sure there are – and everywhere else too. Are most people at the above sites just everyday people looking for a mate? Yes, of course they are.
Thousands of happy couples exist today because of the 90-Day Fiancé visa. Most men who apply for one will get one and successfully bring their girl here and go on and get married. For every Armageddon story, there are 20 happy endings. This is still the United States, a woman here on a K-1 visa cannot just arbitrarily accuse you of abuse, have you arrested and removed from your house, sell all your belongings, forge immigration docs and live happily ever after. There’s more to this story, you can see some of it as the author makes reference to certain red flags that he ignored along the way.
In my 12 years of working with couples in the 90-Day Fiance process, most of whom are still happily together and doing fine, there were a few who did not pan out. The reasons they crashed and burned were invariably due to some negligence on the part of the guy! The guy who did not have health insurance available for his fiancée so he balked at taking her to the hospital when she had a kidney infection. The guy who neglected to tell his fiancé he was a nudist – until they went to a barbecue and she was the only one wearing clothes. The incredibly nice guy whose bratty adult children gave his fiancée no end of grief over their inheritance. The guy who decorated his entire house, including toilet seats, curtains and dishes with Nascar themed items.
The vast majority of women who come here on a fiancée visa are NOT trying to get out of their country, couldn’t care less about American citizenship. They can do anything they want on a green card except vote and they’ve never heard of Mitt Romney. Their lives abroad were fine. They could work, pay bills, put a roof over their heads, go on vacation once in awhile, some own cars and drive. Anyone who believes the rest of the world is full of desperate urchins who live in mud huts waiting for Neanderthals to come and rescue them has been too easily brainwashed by our very slanted media. It takes months, even years for a couple to stand at the alter and say “I-do,” and if there are red flags and warnings one should heed them and not proceed. To forge blindly ahead with someone you’re not truly in love with, who gives you reason to be concerned, who manipulates you and circumstances for her own gain… that’s how you get Armageddon. We all know what it’s like to be in love, and to be loved – look for that and settle for nothing less. It’s not hard.
The fact that Aziza doesn’t want to be pressured into sex on camera with Mike doesn’t make her disingenuous, it makes her smart. Do you think TLC just stands around filming whatever happens and never tries to contrive events? Could TLC have had anything to do with the two random hot girls randomly walking up to and flirting with Mike as his Aziza was coming to join him for a drink? Oh yea, that was a completely unrehearsed event. Mike doesn't seem to protect Aziza from his parents scrutiny. Do they agree with the uninformed majority of redneck Americans who believe all foreign women are poor, dumb, desperate and stupid. That’s got to be fun for Aziza. I mean who wouldn’t want to do that. Maybe she’s just too too smart to be sucked in to tabloid TV.
Rus wants to live in his childhood bedroom in his parents’ house. The dude works on a freakin’ oil rig and doesn’t want to pay for a place of their own. Sheesh! Steve’s parents don’t understand much about their future daughter-in-law's culture. Len’s female best friend and business partner – who is obviously a part of Len’s every day life - has already admitted on camera she thinks Alina is scamming him. The guy with the Philippine fiancé – wants his extremely opinionated ex wife to approve of her before they get married. Alan is so insecure; he fears Kirlyam will up and leave him for someone else just because she’s lovely enough to model. And most of these girls are too young and far away from home and everyone and everything familiar to them. The guys look like deer in the headlights every time something comes up. Yea. Who wouldn’t want to be one of these girls. And TLC – is loving every minute of it, be sure. It makes for good TV.
I hope I am wrong, but I think most of these couples will not pan out. And it will not be the fault of the girls at all. Had the cameras not been around, had friends and family been a little less judgmental, I bet all the couples have a fighting chance. We’ll have to see. But any sensible guy who wants to meet a sincere foreign girl, fall in love naturally, have a meaningful and fun courtship, do a fiancé visa and go on happily ever after can do so. There will be challenges – but the rewards are definitely there: a loving wife, a happy family, a life-mate.
foreignbride101dotcom.
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a_foreign_affair
Junior Member
Posts: 16
Registered: 01-27-2014 Location:
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posted on 02-11-2014 at 13:46 |
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Easy pardner...
You know, my friend, if I offended you, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. But although you have one story - and all the important lessons that go with it - there are thousands more. Thousands. The USCIS estimates that between 6,000 and 10,000 men will file for fiancee visas in the next year alone. If 5% ended the way yours did - there would be more than the occasional story like this on similar forums. Your story is valid and important - but in no way does it resemble the norm or a typical 90 Day Fiance experience and the conclusion that because a nice vet from Colorado got scammed completely with no prior red flags or warning signs along the way - all foreign women should be feared and not trusted, that is neither responsible or right.
Again, there is your unfortunate situation and then there are the other 6,000 - 10,000.
Besides, you should try to meet someone else and end up happy. Happiness is the best revenge, right? Not that revenge is the necessary motivation to find the right person...
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putuporshutup
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 02-11-2014 Location:
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posted on 02-11-2014 at 14:00 |
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Wow - Someone needs a nap!
Boys, take it outside for cryin out loud.
Look, I for one am grateful to hear anyone's stories about success or failure or getting scammed. It's all pretty much relevant, right? Until this show, there was no reference at all to learn more about couples doing the Fiance visa.
I will say this, if any of these TLC couples seem destined to go down the same road as the guy above - it's gotte be Mike and Aziza.
I'm not sayin she a golddigger, but... she ain't messin.
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a_foreign_affair
Junior Member
Posts: 16
Registered: 01-27-2014 Location:
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posted on 02-11-2014 at 14:06 |
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I don't get it...
Hey PUOSU... why Aziza? I don't get it, why is Aziza the one who everyone suspects of being a golddigger? I really don't think she's all that bad, she's just young, she's on camera, she's trying to make some positive changes in her fiancee. The food thing, I kinda get - she doesn't even try her MIL's potato salad or whatever it is and everyone thinks that's rude or thinks she has an eating disorder. The typical Russian diet is very different from American food, it could just be she doesn't want to eat on camera if she thinks she might not like something.
Definitely don't see what she sees in Mike, but whatevs.
And I'm not mad, so sorry to Jr. if I came off that way. Not trying to be aggressive, just want this forum to be balanced. The idea that online dating agencies coach women on how to take advantage of unsuspecting American men. There's no eveidence or reason to believe that at all.
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putuporshutup
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 02-11-2014 Location:
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posted on 02-11-2014 at 14:25 |
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Aziza has issues.
She is always critical of Mike and basically admitted she did not find him attractive. She wouldn't have sex with him until she saw other girls were also interested in him.
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