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minobu
Newbie
Posts: 1
Registered: 02-22-2005 Location:
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posted on 02-22-2005 at 15:18 |
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Advice?
I got a response on an ad on yahoo personals the other day from a very pretty russian lady but being the cynical american that I am I just can't get the idea that it seems like she is too good to be true i.e. likes to cook, pretty, smart and a sexy voice from the file that she sent me.
Am I just being cynical? She has sent me a map of wherre her town is wants my phone number and said that she has to use a town phone or something like that and she checks her emails at an internet cafe in town every morning. We have only sent like 2 emails a piece and after the first one she said that she took her profile off of yahoo to concentrate on me which to me seemed a bit fast (is this the normal way in Russia though like after initial contact stopping all other contact with men?). In her second email she is already saying that she likes me but she has also told me alot about herself and where she graduated from and likes and dislikes and all that. She is also asking about me taking down my yahoo ad which I is why I was wondering if there was some cultural thing going on that I might not understand?
I would appreciate any advice as I don't know if it is just me being a cynical american or if it is way too fast for a russian woman to be talking about liking someone and telling them they are special and such after 2 emails. She hasn't asked for any money and maybe it is too soon to tell just wondering if this sounds like a standard scam or not?
Thanks for any advice
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Wendy
Newbie
Posts: 7
Registered: 01-31-2005 Location:
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posted on 02-22-2005 at 15:57 |
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Advice? from experience
My father got a Russian Bride and from my experience with her, I have noticed that theses women are desparate to come to America. (And I mean they will do anything). To them this is the land of opportunity. I don't think she wants money, but I think she wants a VISA to get into the U.S. Even if things didn't work out between you two, she would still be in the U.S. Be careful before you bring her into the U.S. It's an act in the beginning, but once she gets a taste of America, she's gone, and so is the money you spent on her to get here.
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Bud
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 12-02-2004 Location:
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posted on 02-23-2005 at 12:30 |
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Hey Minobu...I am married to a Russian bride, have many friends who are as well. The one's trying to get to the US are very few and far between, believe me. When you go there and meet them, and even suggest they are just trying to get into the US, they will scoff at you.
Truth is they love their country and culture, are not nearly as desperate as people in the US think they are. There are discussion forums out there for Russian women, and you can't imagine the things they say about cheap men in America who think Russian women should be grateful for just being here.
They come to us to find men who are NOT like the men in their country - sexist, selfish, condescending - it's amazing how we draw all thes negative conclusions about a culture we know nothing about but then again this is where the term "Ugly American" came from - we are the worst for believing we can buy anything we want - even love from a poor Russian girl with no hope or future unless some American guy will come and rescue her.
It's helpful to do your research - here's a fact: The INS says that 7000 American men will mary foreign women this year. The divorce rate in these marriages over the past 5 years? 18%.
Our domest divorce rate? 48%.
There are alot of sacmmers, so you have to be careful. Basically don't send any girl money...that's a huge red flag. And be prepared to travel to meet a girl after awhile. They aren't looking for pen-pals, they want what they can't have in their own culture. A loving husband, family and home. Someone to go through life with. Someone to give their love to.
I am a Tour Director with A Foreign Affair and I have no problem letting you know that up front. If I can offer you more information I'd be happy to, just realize there is a ton of misinformation out there from guys who have failed in this process, often because of their own wrong attitudes about these women, and women in general.
It's a very rewarding process, and success is the norm. You just have to be a nice guy, ready to make a commitment, willing to not fall for scammers who ask for money...most Russian Women wouldn't think of it.
Good Luck! You can reach me at
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scl08816
Newbie
Posts: 9
Registered: 03-08-2004 Location: New York City
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posted on 03-27-2005 at 23:47 |
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You just have to be a nice guy, ready to make a commitment
My sister-in-law, while not from E. Europe, married my brother through a 3rd-party introduction. She is extremely clear-headed and practical, and she thinks the odds of success is low. She thinks it is low not from the possibility that the women are scammers, but because the getting-to-know-you period is too short to learn true long-term compatibility.
But, speaking as a woman, she also thinks that any woman who will expend time and energy (prolonged and numerous phone conversations, letters, etc.), and is willing to go through the K-1 Visa process will likely try extremely hard to make the marriage work once she gets here.
The odds are extremely low that a well-educated woman with a decent life-style (according to their norms) will easily give her body to you if she weren't sincere.
Be a nice guy, and be ready to make a commitment.
As for asking for money, yes, this is a red flag. But, make sure that she is a scammer before breaking the relationship. It is possible that she is unaware that she's doing something wrong. Tell her the truth - that you cannot send her money. If she needs money to buy an airline ticket to visit you, suggest alternatives: buy tix for her, visit her in her hometown, offer to reimburse her, etc.
Good luck!
SCL
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paul4cakes
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 04-08-2005 Location: Dallas, Texas
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posted on 04-08-2005 at 17:13 |
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My russian girl got a visa but I suspect its not real; also she is now asking for cash to pay for th
hey all helpful guys!!!!
I would very much appreciate your help if you give me some advice.
I have been corresponding with a 26 year old russian girl for almost 2 months. So in my understand she wants the same thing as any russian girl who is interested in a foreign man: a better life and a marriage. Until recently we began taking serious interest in each other, I offerred her a visit to USA. She accepted it gladly but came back with a very expensive travel plan. She met some travel agency in her city Zelenodolsk that gurantees a tourist visa for US for almost 2500 dollars. But the good part was that she was willing to accept half of the cost so according to her my liability is only 1200 dollars. So I asked her to go ahead.
I have found out from other resources that a normal travel package from Russia to the US should not cost more than 1500-1600 $ for such a thing. Anyway, I asked her to send me the contract that she signed with this travel agency. she send me the copy in russian and I got it translated. I also asked her to provide her agent's address, she gave me taht and I ciorrponded with the agent. The agent replied me back justifyinh the costs, but never mentioned his/her name in the mail.
Today the girl got a US visa and has sent me a copy of the visa: BUT there are a few things I am suspicious about:
1. The validity of the visa is only 3 months ( i know US embassy gives out at least for ONE year).
2. The sex is not mentioned on the visa that field is Empty. (normally its M or F).
3. The size of the picture is smaller than the prescribed size.
I have partial trust so I want to verify the visa. Also now since its important for the girl to get the travel ticket per the contract, she is insisitng me to send the money for the ticket asap.
I do not want to send the money straight to the girl, but the agency says they can only take cash and do not do any accept credit cards or wire transfer. they do not even have a bank account no. the agent tells me that they are small company and cannot afford to have a bank account.
Does this sounds fishy to you? can you advise me? I am very interested in this girl but I sense something 'not being right' in this.
Any help will be appreciated!!!
Sincerely yours,
Paul
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